Stop Annoying
Michael Messner

I come home and my boyfriend and I ask each other how our day was. When it gets to be my turn to talk all I get is "uh" "oh yeah" Then he turns to the television or computer and say's that he's listening. I want his undivided attention. Just because he can recite whatever I say while he's watching tv doesn't mean he's hearing me. I understand that all men are not like this. Some actually pay attention to their girlfriends. I don't understand why some are the way they are. I'm getting ready for bed so I make my way to the bathroom for a little pit stop. I went to sit on the seat expecting to find the toilet seat there and when I sat down I fell into the toilet. So I make my way back up into the real world. Thanks babe.

These are just a few of the many many annoying things men do in relationships. Here are nine common things men do to annoy their women. Men please try and steer clear of these mistakes.

We hate your habits

1. Men burp, fart, spit, and of all disgusting things you guys can do is you fire out some nasty snot rockets. All these habits are sick and very unwelcome. Easy as 1-2-3. If us women went around doing the same things you men do you would be grossed out. Take a trip to the washroom. Keep these little sick things to yourself.

2. Adjusting your private parts. Their not going anywhere so relax. If you really have to scratch, be discreet about it please. We get the same kind of itch but we don't scratch it in public or in front of you so don't do it in front of us. Again, use the washroom.

3. We hate men with selective hearing. There must be something in your brain that acts like a filter. It only gets your attention when an interesting word comes up, like food, sex, or anything that has to do with you. You'll give us your undivided attention when we're naked but when clothed forget about it. Are you bored of what we're saying?

4. I know how women are. We "bitch" as you guys call it about every little thing. But men seem to have this ability to pick and choose what they hear in a conversation. Maybe we should say something like this to get your attention "honey I was thinking about having a threesome, please take the garbage out".

5. Men always let us know when they have turned us out. I've always wanted to know where exactly is it that you go? When you guys get to that little place in your head, you all look so content and focused. Women on the other hand, can't help but have at least ten things going through their minds at all times. It's so frustrating that you wander off to la-la land. So until we master this skill you man have you'll just have to listen to us.

6. Doesn't matter what you're doing, cooking, doing work on your car, having a shower and shaving you all leave a mess behind you. You take your pants off near the front door, then your boxers in the hall way going up the stairs, finally you're out of the shower and you leave you dirty towels on the floor next to the bed. We can always tell where you guys have been because you make it so easy for us. Do you guys make a mess so you can fin your way back?

7. What would you think if you walked into the bathroom to find out tampon wrappers all over, and little bits of hair stuck to everything? I'm sure it would bother you a bit. When we find little pieces of hair and nail clippings all over the floor it's unpleasant and extremely annoying. Please clean up after yourself, we do.

8. It's funny how many of these "habits" seem to overlap and coincide. Not noticing our new haircut or dress is one thing, but men need to see past themselves and pay more attention to the women in their lives.

9. Who cares if there she bought new dishes or if she's wearing a new dress ,right? You're right it doesn't really make a difference but it's these little details that make life fun and exciting. Open yourself up to the little things that don't matter. It may make all the difference in the world.

10. Most men when they get sick turn into little babies. You whine, complain, and nothing is ever done right for you. We don't mind at all taking care of you when you're sick but instead of whining, why don't you try appreciating what she's doing for you?

11. There are men who have the wondering eye, and casually glance at other women just long enough so that their girlfriends don't catch them. Stop doing this we can see you! We've got eyes in the back of our heads and we see all. I'm being serious watch out!

Then there are the other guys, the ones who carelessly whistle or holler at women walking down the street. The majority of men try to be careful when eyeballing, but just can't seem to pull it off. You guy are extremely noticeable when you do this. We can see it so well. If you really need to stare at other women do it more discreetly.

It goes both ways darling

Some women do the same things don't get me wrong. I could've gone on and on about women's annoying habits as well. If we understood the opposite sex we'd get along a lot better. I can say from my personal experience that if my man just stopped tuning me out for a computer I would probably have less hatred to the machine. And if men would stop picking their noses and scratching their private parts in public, we would get along.

Either way both sexes would do well to stop annoying each other once the honeymoon time dies down. And if you would agree to stop ignoring her for the computer maybe she'll stop doing something that annoys you . We have to work together. We all have to live on the same planet so let's get along. We need one another.