Being Confident
Bert Williams

As a sex worker I see a lot of reasonable guys who have absolutely no self-confidence when it comes to women and to have any form of contact with a woman they have to pay for it. I have one young guy who comes to see me regularly who has never had a girl friend and is never likely to. It’s not because he is ugly, he’s rather good looking but friends who have seen him at bars around town all say the same thing. When a girl goes near him he turns to stone, he mumbles, looks at his feet and is totally uncomfortable. He really would like a relationship with a girl but he is so totally lacking in self-confidence that he will probably never have one.

There are a couple of sites on the net that do cater for couples. Couples can get to those sites and enjoy the stories and fantasies together without having to hide the fact that you both are in need of hot steamy romance or wild sex. A lot of men and women may feel a tad inferior when it comes to looking at sexy couples, slim Jane pretzels, muscular hunks… please don’t ever feel this way… You are a normal person no matter what you may look like. I write this knowing it to be very true. I am a larger lady, a and many years ago I looked at myself thinking that I was not good in bed, was not a great lover and I put myself down because of my build… Not any more. I have a partner who understands me, who loves me for who I am and doesn’t expect me to look like Pamela Anderson. Apart from that with the work I do offline I see many men daily who love larger ladies…

So while you look at pictures and read stories about hot babes with great tits, remember that you too are that person regardless of your build… and guys remember too that you can be a great lover - size does not matter, it’s how you use it counts.
You may be asking what has this got to do with your relationship? It has a lot to do with it… Your personality, character, openness, your individuality are all part of your relationship with your partner.

If you’re like him then I have some tips for you that just might help. This is not a quick fix, you are going to have to work at it and develop your techniques but with practice you will improve your chances of making contact with the members of the opposite sex.

The first thing to do is to get a life - if you want to be confident then you need to have something to be confident about. You don’t need to be rich and famous or have a really cool job, just concentrate on those areas of your life that are interesting and that you are at least partly passionate about. Of course if you work in sewerage treatment and are really passionate about water quality well ……. I might find something else to talk about but most jobs do have some interesting aspects to talk about. The more you talk about these things the more you will find that you are becoming confident.

Look like a confident person. People who are defeated tend to walk with their heads down and their shoulders hunched. If you want to look confident walk with your head up and shoulders back. My man had spent time in the military and he still walks the military walk, he looks confident and I see that others stop and take notice of him. If you don’t think you can succeed just by looking the part then think about my man again. Behind the façade of confidence is a man who is painfully shy.

Be sure to dress the part. Very few people can look confident if they are wearing clothes that should really be cleaning rags. Make sure your clothes enhance your physical appearance and pay attention to your overall appearance, especially your shoes and haircut. Sunglasses or glasses are also important. Clark Kent’s thick black-framed glasses just don’t cut it these days.

Take heart from one important fact, all men are nervous when they are meeting a beautiful woman for the first time. All men get butterflies in the stomach and all the other symptoms when they are confronted with a gorgeous babe. Many will not admit to it but it they all suffer from it. A lot of men are so badly affected that they just become tongue-tied but there is a way to overcome the problem. Start by just saying hello to a few attractive ladies every day and when you can manage to say that to 10 babes a day move on to the next step, which is to try a brief conversation with them. Don’t even think of asking for a date; just have a brief open-ended non-threatening conversation with them. If you’re not asking for a date then there is no pressure on you and you will find that you will quickly have the confidence to chat with girls.

When you feel confident move on to try more intimate conversations. Don’t try hopeless pick-up lines because all that will achieve is total rejection. Instead open the conversation simply and ask open-ended questions to encourage further conversation. Again practice this for a while before you try moving up to the next level of actually asking a girl for a date.

Be prepared for rejection because it is almost inevitable. Everyone gets rejected at some stage, just steel yourself for the inevitable, treat it as a learning experience and move on to the next girl. Rejection is not the end of the world; it is just a learning experience and you should not judge your self-worth by rejection. It is really just a numbers game; if you ask enough girls sooner rather than later one will say yes.

This is probably the hardest one of all and yet it requires just a few subtle techniques. Let the girl know you are interested in subtle ways that project your sexuality. My first date with my partner is a perfect example of what to do. He is painfully shy but he knew how to make me realize that I was very important to him. He took me to lunch at a local restaurant and every time he spoke to me he looked straight into my eyes. In the end I became so distracted by his beautiful hazel eyes and what they were telling me that I managed to spill some of my food into my lap. Establishing eye contact with a girl that you are talking to tells her that she is the centre of your attention and she will find that very exciting. Wherever you are with her try and face her, get close to her if you can but don’t invade her personal space and don’t put up barriers between you. If you are sitting at a table don’t fold your arms in front of you; that sort of body language is terrible. Instead maintain an open space between you so that she can see that there are no subtle barriers between you.

Finally think about your physical appearance, if you’re getting a bit flabby around the waist perhaps its time you went to the gym or spent your lunch break walking. Instead of taking the lift to go up one or two levels in your office building use the stairs. You will be surprised at the change you will begin to notice after just a week or two of this sort of exercise. Getting fit will make you feel more confident and it will make you look more attractive to us women. Are all these things going to work? Probably not on the first or even the second attempt but the more you work at it the more confident you will become and you will succeed much quicker than those guys who don’t practice the art of being confident.